The much anticipated night in the magazine fraternity cum entertainment industry finally arrived on Saturday the 27th of July 2013. Yep, the 9th annual Mlungu, I mean – YOU Spectacular Awards finally happened, seeing celebs and aboLikers alike dressed up to the nines, in an attempt to honour the dress code… which, for the life of me I can’t even remember what it was. Mara people made an effort shem, and most looked beautiful and sexy.
The hauteness that is Lee-Ann Liebenberg!!! Nicky is a lucky man, I’m certain Danny occasionally hugs his pillow tight over that loss.
Kicking off things, Pearl “Siyaya-cause she is everywhere” Thusi (Phat Joe said this, not me, I mos love Pearl), well, she announced winners of a couple of categories, with performances in-between by nominees from the “Favourite music star” category. She did an ok job, albeit half of the audience kept turning their heads to check the auto-queue thingie with her. I don’t think it’s her fault though, cause most of the presenters sounded like they were reading, which they were vele…lol.
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We enjoyed performances by the talented Lira, who scooped the “Favourite music star” award.
The foul-mouthed Jack Parrow also did his thing on stage, swearing like oko strateng, I doubt he’ll be invited again next year. Actually ChianoSky opened the musical performances, she was good shem.
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Mi Casa’s J Whatwhat did his magic, with Mr Bubba on the keyboard and Kelly Rowland on the sax.
Back to the actual awards, the first TJO of the moment of the evening was provided by Lee-Ann Liebenberg, when she walked on stage and merrily announced that “I can’t stand too close to the lights cause I’m not wearing any underwear”….bless her gorgeous self. You have to love our Lord of balance, for Lee-Ann’s blondness must offset her beauty a bit. She then went on to say “I have like 7 of these at home, some we use as door stops…” referring to her “Sexiest woman” award she had just received. See, that’s what happens when you pay tribute to people for their looks. I’m sure that’s the last YOUie she’ll ever win.
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The good Lord heard our prayers, and JeannieD only received 1 award, giving other kids a spot in the limelight. Do these awards come with any money yazi *wonders to self*. She presented a couple of categories, fluffing some of her lines, giggling and blushing here and there.
ProVerb was next, for just as they did with the musicians, each of the nominated “Favourite TV Presenter” contenders was given a couple of categories to present. He was aaayt.
Brotherman couldn’t stop drooling over Melinda Bam who was on stage at the time to receive her “Favourite Couple” award, with her boo. We don’t blame you Pro, that lady is beauty on steroids!
I think I’m becoming a Bonang stan. This lady is like the Mandoza of 2013, kere snatching “Favourite TV Presenter” award from the beautiful, loved by the voting masses Jeanie D. Metlholo ga ea fela le bo Moshe!
Watching her work her magic on stage was enchanting, she was in her element and definitely deserved to win the award.
She has mastered that auto-queue machine, totally flowing seductively over all those words.
She presented an award to Leon Schuster for being the Funniest South African….it was a cute moment; Mkhulu even got a standing ovation. I guess he has his target market neh.
Carte Blanche’s Devi Sankaree Govender is one funny woman! Her sense of humour is on point, and should definitely be in the line-up for the next Blacks Only, and that’s if they don’t plan it on the same night as the YOU Award. She had the beautifully-clad audience in stitches from the moment she got on stage. She called on Somizi to announce one of the categories, and all hell broke loose.
Mampinga’s son is crazy shem, ghetto fabulous on heels ….i almost wet myself with laughter, shim and Devi should host the SAMAs next year. Even Devi said “he deserves his own show”.
Somizi even impersonated the Top-Billing Ladies’s walk on set, and said “eat that Bonang-Lite Kganyago” obviously taking a jab at Lerato Kganyago. Speaking of Lerato, where art though nana & Minnie Dlamini yena? Your absence was quite conspicuous.
The saddest moment of the evening for me was when Joost van der Westhuizen was honoured for his contribution towards the awareness of motor neuron disease he is suffering from. He was ushered on stage in his wheelchair, received his award, and didn’t/couldn’t even make a speech. The crowd gave him a hero’s applaud, but I almost cried at the sight of a frail man who is reduced to a fraction of what he used to be.
A special tribute was made to Tata Mandela, for the incredible human being he is, and his Chinese grandson accepted the award on his behalf. I’m kidding, dude is black like me, but those eyes, you can’t even squeeze a 10c coin in them, he must be as blind as a bat when inebriated.
He definitely embodies the new South Africa Tata was talking about all those years ago in his “…But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die…” speech, as he was rolling with a beautiful Caucasian lady. Pik must be rolling wherever he is.
Somgaga was unexpectedly called back on stage to announce the winner of the “Favourite Soapie” Award, and caused such a raucous while making his way onto the stage…chanting “this is gay abuse, this is homosexual abuse”…lol. You gatto love SomG, athi being called on stage to present once is ok, mara so many times, they should have hired him to do the job. He crapped all over the auto-queue machine, which was prompting him to speak faster than he cared. It was a “had to be there moment”. Totally funny!
Here’s a full list of the winners, in case I left out some:
- Favourite TV presenter: Bonang Matheba
- Favourite newcomer: Khaya Mthethwa
- Favourite couple: Melinda Bam and Adriaan Bergh
- Sexiest woman: Lee-Ann Liebenberg
- Sexiest man: Francois Hougaard
- Most stylish woman: Jeannie D
- Most stylish man: Simba Mhere
- Favourite actress: Diaan Lawrenson
- Favourite actor: Christo Davids
- Favourite sport star: Chad le Clos
- Favourite music star (co-sponsored by Jacaranda FM): Lira
- Favourite radio personality: Rian van Heerden
- Funniest South African: Leon Schuster
- Favourite soapie: 7de Laan
After the formalities, we headed to the other hall, where djs were playing white music. Our saving grace came from an unlikely source, never judge a book by its coconut appearance. The stylish DJ Poppy of 5FM represented the masses, and played jams like Xigubu & DJ’s Zinhle’s “Sgub’usvule…” All the darkies jumped onto the dance floor, joining makgowa who had been exercising (dancing) the whole night since the after party started.
By Kabelo Moroka
Pictures by Picay Photography